Log Entry Earth Time February 06, 2016, 08:58.55 pm CET
Nearly one month has passed and although I am still here some changes for me happened. My consciousness is increasing again and I had a difficult week. From time to time they change the energies, lowering or raising them to give especially those sleeping or newly awakened the chance to adapt to the energies. I feel these lows and I feel very uncomfortable with them. My body is adapting more and more to the energies of Mesime, my ship, who are very high. These differences between the ship and Earth are tearing on my body when I am returning to Earth every night.
This last week was extreme and I know the reason now. I felt horrible, a big sadness, off track, unloved, abandoned, betrayed and the whole gamut of emotions. I was angry with my team and my twins, accusing them to not doing enough and not wanting me back. I apologize as I know better now. What has changed for me is that I can feel all the emotions of humanity, the whole bandwidth. As Divine Mother it is normal for me and my Higher Self doesn’t suffer. It is the same like with all the sickness and diseases of my children that affect my body and make me sick too. Humanity are like cells in my body and when one cell gets sick I might not feel it, but when more and more are sick at one point the whole body gets sick. I can’t shield myself from it as it is part of my being all that is. I am learning now how to tune out these emotions that are not me. Since I know the reason for my sadness and that I don’t own it, I feel better. I am back in balance and calm now.
More things became clearer for me when I was talking with my best friend last night. I want to go home to my ship and still it is my own decision to return to Earth every night. I am not forced to go only by myself. There is also no need to suffer or to miss any fun or joy like I do since a while. Don’t ask me I can’t tell you when I lost the joy in my life. It is a feeling of guilt that keeps me here, guilt that I might could have prevented the descent of my beloved daughter Gaia and her people. Have I neglected something? Was I just unobservant? I don’t know as too many memories are still blocked. What I can feel and my friend is correct, I feel guilty and responsible and this is the reason why I incarnated and took all the stress and danger of my dark period and this life on myself to help Gaia and her inhabitants with ascension. My still low self-esteem and inadequate self-love do their own to my current situation. Yes, my body is one pain now but I work on ignoring the pain. Pain is illusion, I have to repeat it again and again. There is no need to suffer because of it.
In my overwhelming wish to stay onboard I lost my way, my happiness and joy. I enjoy to attune people to reiki, animal and other energies, I love it and I know that the recipients enjoy their attunements too. All the attunements I do are filled with my love and blessings and the Atlantian Dolphin attunements are also filled with the playfulness and joy of the dolphins and my own joy. But besides that and my chats with my best friend there is not much joy left. I want to find it again and I will.
Since our chat from tonight I am reflecting and contemplating and also working on myself. I received so many attunements for myself that I can use now to help me clear blockages, guilt and other stuff. I have mantras that will help me too. The biggest point is but my feeling of guilt that I have to release and that it is okay when I stay on my ship. I can transfer my energies to humanity from there too. This guilt that tries to make me responsible for the success of this whole process in staying here until all have ascended. This is not necessary and I have done my share to it in this incarnation. It doesn’t mean that I would stop working for it, no, it only means that I am not bound anymore to be on Earth during the whole process. I can allow myself to go home to continue my work from there and to come back with full consciousness and all my power and abilities after my body is healed.
I don’t know how much time I need for this as it is so deep ingrained in my soul and I don’t know how fast I can release whatever is holding me back. It could be overnight but also take days or weeks but I will learn this last lesson.
Until I am able to stay on my ship I will continue my daily energy work, the cleansings and healings, the daily reiki I send to all my loved ones, all requests, healers, all who are affected by storms, snow, earthquakes, floodings, volcanoes and similar happenings and to all my children on and in this wonderful planet. And I will continue to blast all negativity and other stuff with my diamond flame to cleanse Gaia from all that is unwanted and/or harmful to her and the souls on her. And of course I will do attunements, make bracelets and create diamond shields of protection when they are ordered.
Silverstar wants to talk ❤
My beloved has gone through much the last weeks, her body is stressed to exhaustion by the different energy levels. She always thought we would send her back but we would love that she stays with us. I feel her pain in my heart, we are connected energetically and I monitor her closely to assist her. With the opening to all the emotions she shut down her heart and refused to listen to me, I don’t blame her for this as in some points she is correct. We didn’t always tell her the truth but it was due to the secrecy of the mission. One wrong word and she could reveal too much and risk the whole operation.
You think I am exaggerating? Look at the picture. It is a triskelion and it has several meanings but always the meaning of three. The Trinity, mother, father and child, past, presence and future, body, mind and soul and the triple Goddess and others. It is also the sign of my beloved. She is no nobody and her Higher Self knows all the details of our Divine Plan. One unguarded remark could risk so much. This is the reason why her HS is blocking all memories from her visits and her work during her sleeptime even the memory of our embracing her. I wasn’t lucky with her decision to switch sides to the dark ones for her preparation but I support her and will welcome her back when her soul has made the decision to stay. I am not angry with her or that she accused us and threw cream cakes at us. I could feel her pain and frustration. I love her and want her back. All of us do.
I am confident she will learn this last lesson. She is already working with me again, she is listening to what we tell her, her HS and I. She is open again for our guidance. Her amnesia is slowly lifting and it brings with it not only joy but also pain. She believes it was her fault that Gaia descended, that she wasn’t careful enough in her watching over our daughter. Even Prime Creator and your Divine Parents are still learning and growing and we too make our experiences together with you. I know Isabel would give her body to help you but this isn’t necessary. Energies on Gaia have raised and I am sure we can compensate Isabel’s energies when she is ready to stay with us. It is now her decision, her soul must finally decide to stay. She wants to be with me but her soul has the last word. Only when she has released all that is holding her back will she be able to stay here. We support her fully in this.
One thing she did in her meditation today was to throw her ‘ring of guilt’ into the fires of Mount Doom, she was hesitating and it wasn’t easy for her to let go but finally she did and she took her inner child and went out of Mount Doom. She had released the darkness and shadows in her being – don’t forget, she spent thousands of years on the dark side – and found a green land. Together with her inner child she will set sail to the Undying Lands as soon as she arrives in the Grey Havens. Her ship is already waiting for her.
When you ask me now why I so often talk about the Lord of the Rings then I can only answer you that my beloved is deeply linked to this story you only see as a fairy tale, a mere fiction. Isabel knows her roles in it and yes, she has more than one. It is not yet the time to disclose it but she might do when all the riddles are solved and peace and freedom are finally installed. LOTR and all books and stories that are connected to it, are no fiction but the story of your planet, your history, a metapher of what was and is happening and why you are on Earth and doing what you came there to do. It is the metapher of the war between dark and light not only on your planet but also in your Galaxy. I know that this war on your planet is already won but it has to manifest before your eyes yet. This too is now happening. As the One Ring has been destroyed it is just a matter of time that all shadows, Goblins, Trolls, pirates and Haradrims are gone too. We are removing the last of those who don’t have your best interest at heart and their minions from Gaia, they have the choice between healing or merging with my beloved and I think most of them will choose the merging as they are too afraid of love.
Stay strong my beloved children, the end of your suffering is near. We are already preparing the big party to welcome you back out of the illusion.
Your Divine Parents
Golden Star and Silverstar
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