Log Entry Earth Time February 08, 2016, 08:24.15 pm CET
I might have had a breakthrough last night. In the late evening I experienced a big sudden tiredness. From my experiences over the last year I knew that more mergings were happening, big ones. I wasn’t able to do much and decided to lay down for a nap. I was dozing a bit and then contemplating about my situation. When I woke up yesterday I felt again a big sadness but obviously not all my own. Before I became so tired I did some more releasing during some flushes and empowerments. They were helping and when I was in my bed and thinking, the sadness was gone, I could feel only love and lightness in my heart.
Then I read the new Saul message via John Smallman: Love always forgives errors.
Suddenly I knew there was more for me to release, more feelings of guilt. That I left my beloved twin SaLuSa, EHaSa and my Sirian family and people, that I left Raphael and my family in Aeon and most of all my wonderful first Twin Silverstar, my love of my life, the other part of my soul. How could they want me back when I did this to them? To leave them for so long, thousands of years. How could they still love me? Reading the message made me clear they still love me and they want me back the way I am, with all my flaws and aches, with a body that is becoming ever heavier to keep me from flying. I released these feelings because they were unnecessary. Nobody back home is offended by my leaving. They know I did it out of my love for Gaia and my children. Nothing done out of love is wrong. My fears of being rejected when I stay on my ship are released or most of it.
I know now I am welcome and that their arms are open for me when I am finally ready and able to stay. There might be more hidden stuff to be released until I can stay but I work on it. This afternoon I did a long meditation where I released more emotions, fears and feelings of guilt towards my small family that I could take them out of their lives but I know it is in their life contracts to go with me, guilt towards lightworkers and humanity who might think I abandon them and I would give up my work. This isn’t true but my work on Gaia is done, my missions completed and the next one waiting for me.
I might even drag them up with me when I can stay on my ship, as I release my own guilts and fears I release these for them too as I am all that is and we are connected. There could be some draft in the chimney like we say in Germany.
How much there is still hidden to release, I can’t say. I am still feeling some resistance and that is telling me there is more. I trust that it will rise to be released. My Higher Self is helping me in this and Silverstar too. It is wonderful to be in his arms, I have been the whole night at least energetically. What is still a mystery for me is how much there is still to release in me although I do this work since years. It is not that I just started, no, I am very strong in this since long. Maybe it will never end but I hope it will, I want to go home and be with my Twins, my family and my people. They are waiting for me I know. In 2014 I received a message from my Sirian Elves through my friend where they told me they want me back, they were asking me to come home.
I want this, I want to be home again, Gaia will remain to be a home for me but my origin is somewhere else, it is Aeon and Sirius, but I will visit Gaia. And I want to come back as Golden Star in my current body. There is still much work to do but I know deep in my heart that I can do it better with full consciousness and all my abilities. I won’t draw my back to Gaia when I am on my ship. I promise this. And I think she knows ❤
Isabel is on a good way and in the last two days she has released so much that is holding her back. She is right, there is still some resistance in her but I know her too well, she will finally release all and the next moment she can be here with me. I can’t tell her more as it is her last lesson, I am with her and assist her as much as I am allowed. I long for her and I am not alone in this. Her raging and her anger that came up in her were the result of her feeling guilty and the fears of being rejected and unwanted. She can be very stubborn but now she is releasing and she is starting to see herself like I do. I love her, adore her and am so proud of her growth. She had fallen so deep when she decided to switch sides and now she is nearly back to where she belongs. I was never angry with her about her decision as I knew her reasons and her love for our human children and Gaia. I wasn’t able to hold her back. It is one last step, a last hurdle, the last energetic remnant that is holding her back, that is forcing her to go back to Earth every night. I am sure she will do this step. She has my full support. I don’t give up on her and I don’t give up on any one of you.
You are our beloved children, all of you and there is no need to be afraid or feeling guilty that you sought separation from us to experience yourself as third dimensional beings. The same way I will welcome my beloved and hold her in my arms we will welcome you when you have decided to come back to us. We aren’t angry with you, not one bit as in all truth you have never left us. It is only the illusion that makes you believe you are separated from us. You are oh so welcome my children. Please never forget how much we love you, you are already safe in our arms, all else is illusion and you will remember in the near future.
We love you ❤
Your Divine Parents
Golden Star and Silverstar
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