My Journal January 30, 2020 – Update, Musings and a Rant

Log Entry Earth Time January 30, 2020, 01:00.00 pm CET


I think it is time for a new log entry, the last one is over 2 years ago.

Much has happened since then, not all of it was good but big healing has occurred from it too.

My trust into my twin Silverstar was shattered to the ground, literally and I learned what has happened when I left my home Aeon eons ago. He didn’t want me to leave and go to the dark side to make some experiences and for some other things. He refused to let me go and we fought. We fought a hard, cruel and bitter fight, he said he hurt me but maybe I hurt him too and with this I mean physically. I remember wounds on my body but the most hurt came from his words: When you leave now I don’t want you to ever come back.

I left him instantly the pain was too big and it influenced my whole existence. I lost all hope and thought he stopped loving me. I stayed at the dark side longer than I had originally intended. I lost myself there until some tragic event woke me up that I changed sides again. It is described in my book and also in my life review in August 2014. You can read it there.

This pain had its effect also in my current life. My choice for my husband was pretty bad although I know the choice was made before I incarnated and I know my team told me to choose another partner. My ex abused me – mentally and sexually – and the mental abuse was the worst. It took out most of my life force and if I hadn’t left him I would be dead now. He thought he could destroy me as his soul could see who I am but I am stronger than he thought. Lucifer made the same error some years ago.

I know now that so much of my lives and I think of my past lives too have been greatly and negatively influenced by his words. I wasn’t able to trust him anymore. I was so angry at him. And I still loved him and this made it the more painful. I had a lot of work to do and told him I need his help if I ever would be able to go back to him. We had long talks and he explained me that he regretted his words the moment he spoke them, he thought he could keep me as he was afraid of what could happen when I switched sides and I think he knows that he made it worse. I still don’t know why I switched sides, who gave me that idea, the memories are still blocked and I have to wait until I am back home and then I will see what I have to do.

I know he still loves me and wants me back, we did a lot of healing the last months, a lot of discussing and I see immense progress, he knows he is in too to help me, to rebuild my trust into him. This is nothing I can do alone, he was part of what happened and for this he has to be part of the healing. I can trust him more now and I am sure I will be welcome once I can stay home.

There is happening so much energetically on all levels. Many souls who refuse to heal chose and still are choosing to merge. To digest these energies is hard work for my body and exhausting but one day it is done. I do much more than I can talk about here, most of it has to stay secret until the veil is lifted and I pray it will be soon. Something is approaching, something big, I feel it but can’t grasp it yet. The energies are becoming stronger and stronger with an increase in vibrations, in frequency. I know and feel as I am part of this increasing energies.

There is so much coming to the surface with these energies, it can’t be hidden anymore and it just has to come up for all to be seen. All the cruelty, abuse and despise team dark – or how a friend calls them now the Antisocial-Social club (ASSC) – has for us, it must all come out that humanity can learn and understand what and why it happened. Only then will they be able to rebuild society and life on our beautiful planet.

So many, too many, are still sleeping and hitting the snooze button every time the alarm is ringing. Their ‘sleeping pill’ is working extremely good and they need some extra wake-up call and maybe a spiritual bucket with cold water to get them out of deep sleep. Interesting deep state and deep sleep are both DS. The first influencing the latter?

Interesting for me also what I read yesterday on fatzenbook (it is safer to change the pronunciation for some ‘things’). There was a post of a young woman who complains about too many posts about a certain death, that people could be so heartless about it and the family and spreading lies and she would be an empath and has to stay away from said fatzenbook because she couldn’t bear it anymore. She is in denial of the truth or even don’t know the truth like so many. It will be a hard awakening for so many people even in my own family.

I am an empath too and I feel in my body and soul when people are angry, sad, confused, happy etc. It has to do with who I am. I think this girl who claims to be a lightworker is refusing her mission. She is hiding behind her being ’empath’ and unable to face atrocities. What the fuck? And I experienced it last year in a group with people who claim to be of Archangel Michael’s Blue Ray. Never ever are they from his Blue Ray or they would behave like one. His Blue Rays aren’t pussies, they are strong and courageous warriors. Yes, they are empaths but they use this to do what is necessary and they don’t hide behind their being empath and ‘not able to face what is going on in this world’. No! We feel and see and go to work! We walk the talk!

I can see the reason why people are acting like this. It is the New Age Movement and this new age bulls*t is an offspring from the killumantis. Read the book ‘The New World Order’ by A. Ralph Epperson and you will know the truth and I can also recommend the books of Kerth Barker. You can find them on amazon.

This new age movement was created to catch all those slowly waking up to the truth, to catch all those slipping through their nets of deception. They knew that when people are waking up they would be searching for truth and spirituality and so they created a false movement with false prophets and ‘ascended masters’ like Sananda and the Kumaras to seduce, sedate and keep them at bay. They are telling you it is enough to light candles and ring bells and say om and these things. And oh yes, there will be the savior and galactics that will rescue us all without the need of doing our spiritual homework. That we don’t have to release our karma and all the energetic baggage from so many lives. No, just sit there and chant om is enough and wear dreadlocks and sandals. And if you did some researches and workshops chance is high you develop some spiritual ego because oh yeah, you did this exclusive workshop and you are better than those who didn’t. No, you aren’t. Nobody is better or more worth than anybody else. It is some heavy brainwashing that you must feel somehow superior or just need to be somebody ( and likely somebody special and spiritual and archangel and ascended master and mother god). You ARE already somebody!!! You are a beloved child of the Divine Parents. Each Single One Of You! Without exception.

They even brought up some persons as ‘channels’ with pieces of truth and once established with increasing lies. And why do you think we have so many people who claim to be an archangel or ascended master or gaia gophia and mother and father god. Mother and Father God, oh how I dislike this term. There are too many of them and in increasing numbers.

Today I read a post actually two where people ask if reiki and yoga are satanic? No, they aren’t. In its origin reiki is just channeling divine healing energy through you to the recipient, nothing else; it has nothing to do with satan, lucifer or not being christian when I practice it. The same goes for yoga. Both are helping you leading a healthy life and for this it is demonized by those aka the ASSC who don’t want you to be healthy and happy.

Some might be genuine or really believing they are who they claim to be but the greater part is just disinformation and confusion for those who are new and even for some who are a bit longer in this. I could publish a list of all those fake ones I have encountered in the last 10 years and more. You would be surprised who is on it.

I feel it and I know it when I find one who isn’t genuine, who is faking a being they aren’t. My soul knows and my Higher Self, my full consciousness gives me the nudges too. She of all knows the real truth and the only truth and she is helping me to find the fake ones.

There are also some people, renowned as energy workers, ascension coaches and others who tell people they don’t need any protection because if they have high energy and are vibrating high enough they won’t need any. No harm could come to them, no evil being could attack them. This is wrong!!! I don’t say this because I want to sell my shield, I say this because I am safe due to my shield. I know I am under constant attacks from the ASSC and it never ceases, they only come up with new things from time to time and then my HS let the shield a bit loose that I can feel it and adapt the shield for the new threats. This is why this shield is always up-to-date. I know many people who are vibrating high and who are under attack, how matches this with the statement that a high vibrating human being can’t be attacked? Tell me! It is brainwashing by so called spiritual people. As I said before I am doing energy work I can’t talk about yet and it includes working on some nasty beings, Reptilians and demons and places they sojourn. They would kill me if I wouldn’t shield myself and all the attacks would have destroyed my body if I hadn’t my shield. 5G is nothing but a part of the attacks and my shield is protecting me against it all. And believe me, I am not low vibrational but one of those who vibrate the highest here.

There is some positive to say, my best friend published my book as hardcopy too as an early Christmas gift. It is available on amazon here. If you have read it already and liked it please do me a favor and write a customer review. It might help others in deciding whether to buy it or not and also me in providing some living for my family with every sold book.

I did some manifestation work too, we have a new heater, the old one couldn’t heat anymore just make warm water and only in a certain operating mode that did cost us a lot of heating fuel. Energy is expensive in Germany, we have nearly the highest energy cost in the world, heating fuel, gas and electricity and our government is raising it even more with their laws. It is high time for some changes. Now I am working on manifesting some more money for groceries and heating fuel and my car needs a new battery too. Being on half of my former income isn’t that easy to handle. I have to strengthen my manifestation abilities and one day I will be successful like with the new heater.

And I think for today it is enough update, musing and rant. I don’t know if there will be more log entries. It depends on my mood and what is happening. Maybe, maybe not.

But what is sure is that I bless and love you all ❤ ❤ ❤



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