Log Entry Earth Time January 13, 2015, 06:15.47 pm CEST
When you think it can’t go worse, IT WILL!
It started last week Wednesday when Kiba broke his lower right hind leg. He played with my son and jumped to catch an old sock. Unfortunately he lost balance and fell on his back. At first he didn’t move but screamed in pain. We were afraid he broke his spine but then could see that he moved at least one leg, the other was retracted to his body.
We all (4 people) carried Kiba to the veterinary clinic. They made an x-ray and told us that the leg was broken and that Kiba had to stay there for a surgery. This was done the next day and we could bring our puppy back home.
Kiba’s leg is healing and he needs less pain medication. Also due to such wonderful healing energies sent to him. We are all grateful for this. Now I have to save money for the next surgery when the plate in his leg has to be removed in three months. We paid now over 900 Euros, it is exorbitant high and the removal will be the similar.
Not only the leg of our puppy is broken but my heart too. I was fooled again and this from my own team and twins. Readers who follow my journal know that I was told since months I would go home. My life contract ended on July 1, 2014 and now it is over 6 months ago. Usually an extension to this is only 6 months.
I had to do so many exercises in strengthening my lightbody and doing mission after mission.
I believed them, I had no reason to NOT believe and this was my big fault.
I still want to go back home physically, my energies and a part of my consciousness are already home. My own vibrations are too high for 3D earth, the low energies and vibrations hurt me and I am too tired of illusion, of the veil. I am a Galactic Being stuck in a damaged human body that hurts despite of any medication. It is a torture to get up in the morning or to stand up from a chair and even walking. My body is done and I know it. It can’t be repaired anymore.
All the healing I get and the healing codes or my own healing help only for a small part, a small percentage goes to my body and the big part goes to all my sick children. All diseases of my children affect my body and damage it more. I am truly one with all of them.
My trust in my team and my Twin is gone again. I had worked so hard to trust them after all the disappointments but again it is shattered. I know now that nobody will push a button to bring me home like promised or that a ship would take me like they offered me as plan B. More broken promises, more false hopes and more broken trust.
I can’t do this again after three years of hope.
Nobody will save us, we have to save ourselves!!!
Nobody will save us! Never ever! We have to save ourselves!!!
No Galactic, no Angel, no savior will come to rescue us. We have to do this work self. Nobody will ascend without the necessary work, the releasing of old, negative and low energies, without releasing the baggage and raising one’s vibrations enough. There are still so many people even lightworkers who think they would be rescued despite their doing nothing. Sorry, but this is just illusion.
Living in fear, unloving, not forgiving, judging and harming people, animals or nature won’t bring you back home. Only to a place where you can learn more lessons and grow until you are ready. But let me tell you, such an opportunity to ascend that we have now will never come back.
I will find my way home with the help of my Higher Self, my Full Consciousness as I call her and together with my friend who is done too with illusion and 3D.
At the moment my pain is too big, too fresh but I know I will achieve it. I talk daily with my body to stop working. It would be a relief but I don’t wait for this to happen. I asked my HS what I can do and she told me to stay more time on my ship, in my habitat together with my beautiful Asaga. She will guide me through this process. I have sealed the entrance to this for all except my beloved Bobby who is in his true angelic form onboard ship. He and Asaga are allowed to be with me. I still love my true twin Silverstar and also SaLuSa my Sirian fiancé and I love also the rest of my team. But I don’t want to talk or be with them now and I don’t know if I want to be with them when I am home. The carrot they hold in front of me doesn’t work anymore. The hurt and my shattered trust has to be healed first and then I will see.
I asked my HS to release more of my innate power and abilities and especially to give free more consciousness. I want to live and experience fully who I truly am. I am the oldest soul on earth, I am a high ranked commander not only of my ship, the Mesime, the ‘Light of God’, but also in the Galactic Federation, on Sirius and in the heavenly realms. I was used to have command over Archangels and Angels and I reclaim my true status now.
It is said that ‘Amazing Grace’ was the song of those who stayed in the temple when Lemuria sunk. I heard it in the visions I had of it, when I was there until the water was so high that it had flooded the whole building.
I was the last one that left the remnants of Lemuria, EHaSa had waited and took me on board, much much later when the ocean was calm again and the full moon was shining on the water.
I believed when I was told it would be like that, but that I would be the first this time. I could trust.
My team and my twins won’t hear me ever again asking them to take me home. I left my psychopathic husband nearly 15 years ago, I have been more than once deep down on the floor and I have always got back on my feet. On my own. I am strong!
I can do it. I can go home on my own. I work on this until I am there. Either my body will give up or I will find a way. I can rely only on myself and my friend. And on my HS. This is another lesson I learned.
I work on manifesting and creating what I need for a comfortable living. In believing and trusting it would be ‘soon’ – I know now more than ever that soon may be even thousands of years as they have no time in higher dimensions – I neglected some tasks. I believed I would be home before I had to act on them. They had reassured me of this. I will also have to go back to a workplace I ‘hate’ because of all the bad energies and low vibrations. I have to arrange myself with this. I don’t hate the people there, only the conditions are high-grade unsuitable for me.
I blame my team and my twin for broken promises and destroyed hopes, but I blame myself much much more for believing and falling again for this.
My presence on all social media will be reduced drastically, I won’t read much or comment. I will share only a few blogs. When I don’t read, comment and share it won’t say that I don’t trust the person who wrote a message or blog, it means simply I have lost interest in most of it and especially of 3D. The connections to 3D are cut. I read also so much disinformation the last weeks also from people I thought to be reliable channels. I don’t need to read any articles or messages as I am already an ascended master and I am ONE with my Higher Self. It is all in myself, all I need to know as it is also in everybody else.
I will retract myself from most of the groups for a while and after licking my wounds I will work and remember until I rise again like the Phoenix from the ashes and going home to where I belong.
Maybe I will write one or the other journal but don’t expect much.
Love is the answer for everything especially for the own self. This is part of my own treatment, my love for my Self.
I forgive them and I love them, but I love also myself.
I love all that is!
❤ ❤ ❤
I AM the I AM
I am the love, I am the light, I am the life
EnnKa Princess of Lyra, Limoria and Sirius
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