To begin a journal, it is not easy as I am not good with words. So much has happened the last weeks and months. Maybe it is really time to begin with, to record this new process for me, of going home? Who knows, but I hope it.
The whole year wasn’t easy. I am still sick for different reasons and healing if possible is slow and a longterm process. I get injections now as a basic treatment and they make me so nauseous. I need to eat in shorter intervals and then not much but enough that my stomach is busy. I have already too much weight – I was told it would be to hold me down on earth that I am not flaoting away – and I have to be careful now that there is not more weight gain. The healing codes must help here too. The first week I had to lay down to be able to proceed, this week it is a bit better. My blood test is okay, no liver or kidney problems, hopefully it stays so and I can go on with this treatment. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and maybe a sort of rheumatism, but it isn’t still validated because my blood still doesn’t show any signs and we can go only with the symptoms.
My youngest son has liver problems since February and nobody knows why. The blood says there are definitely liver probs and he has pain and is often nauseous too. One reason could be that he is awakening and they are ascension symptoms but nonetheless he is sick and we have to find the reason to be able to treat him. I do what I can as a healer but my energies are too low at the moment.
To add to all of this our beloved dog passed two weeks ago. More or less unnoticed with all the turmoil with my son and my own health we somehow neglected him a bit. No, not in cuddling him but we didn’t noticed early enough his own health problems. I am so sorry for this Bobby, please forgive me.
We tried what was possible even blood doping with EPO for his anemia. That day he was lively and ate wonderful and we thought he would be on his way up. Then the next day he refused to eat and I knew something has happened that he lost his will to live. The next and last two days of his life he spent in my arms and on my bed. Most time sleeping and when he was awake we cuddled and enjoyed each other. My beloved boy – he is in truth my firstborn with my beloved husband on Sirius – passed in my arms, peacefully without injection as it was his wish. It still hurts and when I was at the vet clinic yesterday to bring some stuff back and talking about him was painful and brough tears into my eyes. He is with us but in etheric form, but we miss his physical appearance, his barking and playing, his looking at us, his silky fur…..
When Bobby passed, I was very angry with my team, for different reasons. One was that I thought they hadn’t healed and helped him. All of them are healers, especially Raphael and SaLuSa. The pain was so strong and I was talking about it with a very close friend, a healer too. She made some suggestions about the true reason behind it and I started to think. I feel locked and caged on earth. I can neither see nor feel the door of my cage and I so want to leave it. I know the door is somewhere, but where? And why can’t I move, removing the shackles that hold me? Are they real or only in my imagination? My mind? Or are they etherical shackles? Where is the blockage that I can’t see it? How can I remove the fog that is blinding me? What I am afraid of? What do I refuse to see? To discover how vast and huge and all-encompassing I truly am? To see my light truly shining? Is this the reason why I can’t see my lightbody yet? Am I afraid to leave my shadow behind me? To see myself how I truly AM?
I know that my self-consciousness, my self-awareness is small. I have so long refused to accept who I am. I know it and I have accepted not so long ago. But there had to be more to create those blockages. I want to have all my abilities and power back, but am afraid to use them. Why? I know that I had my dark period some thousand years ago until around 2000 years ago in preparation to my mission now. I know that I made many evil deeds but have released all the relating karma of it. There must be more.
As EnnKa of Sirius this is my first incarnation on earth but as the true Being I AM I had incarnations on Lemuria and also Atlantis. I have memories of Lemuria but only from the sinking and I was part of the rescue team from above and didn’t die there. Atlantis? Yes, I have no relation to it until now, no memories, no feelings. All blocked deep inside me. I found out that I had an incarnation as a scientist and I abused my power and abilities. I have to admit that I was responsable for the sinking of Atlantis through the misuse of my power. So many people died including my incarnation then. An experiment went so awfully wrong and I knew the risk, that I could blow up the continent and I did it anyhow. The pain came back but the memories of this are still deeply buried but in acknowledging my deed I released the blockage and healing could begin. My beloved AA Michael cut the cords to this and Raphael began a healing for me. It is not over yet but it is in the making now. The passing of Bobby, the pain I still feel, was the needed trigger for my healing process and seeing the blockage.
Maybe people will hate me for this but this was a different and past life and I regret it truly. I would never do this again, I know. I can’t undo it.
On Monday my beloved cat Jerry had diarrhea, maybe from too much canned food, she is used to dried food and I was afraid that she could be serious sick too. I don’t have the energies right now to heal her. I asked my team especially SaLuSa – she is our daughter back home – to please heal her. Later I was talking with my close healer friend about my pain and more things. I was angry with my team, that they don’t take me back, onboard a ship and then home. They told me so often I would go home.
I feel locked and lost forever on earth. The energies of 3D are so painful and dense. I can’t go on much longer, my energies are at their lower limit and so few of it is left. I am so tired and want to sleep but when I lay down I can’t sleep for hours. My whole body is aching from illness and energy work I have done my whole life, first unconsciously but then consciously the last years. It is the toll I have to pay for this but I don’t regret and would do it again and again. It is worth it.
I am so tired and exhausted of all this 3D life. People who are only thinking of RV and abundance and prosperity packages as if this would be the only thing. That this would ‘save’ them. Don’t they understand that only they can save themselves? There is no savior coming doing the work for them. RV and abundance packages are okay, why not? But it can’t be the focus. People need to work on themselves, release all that doesn’t serve them anymore, forgiving, stop judging, loving themselves and others. They need to raise their vibrations in releasing and in loving behavior and in BE love. The essence of what we are as human beings. All else will follow.
We don’t need money in the higher dimensions so why so focussing on it? It can only be a help to be able to focus on the true meaning of life, to be love. Can’t they understand this? In focussing only on money they give the lower vibrations power and energy to sustain. And energy to those who don’t care for us. Why can’t they open their hearts to the love of the Divine Mother?
They engage in war, war crimes and other crimes and if it is only in taking sides. Don’t they see that they only give more energies to that? Please stop this my beloved fellow beings!!! I know that it is happening and I am not blind to it, but I prefer to visualize a peaceful earth and give my energies to THIS. You should do this too and in this you help stop all crimes, war and injustices. It is a game of energies and I want LOVE to be the prevailing energy here.
My anger increased and other things added to this the next day, yesterday. I felt betrayed and lied to by my team. Repeatedly. If justifiable or not I can’t say. I don’t know. And I didn’t knew anymore if they really loved me and also my true Twin Flame. I was confused, in dispair and anger and crying. Accusing them out of my pain. Oh, I was so unjust and even offending them. At that moment I didn’t care about it and told it them. I stopped talking with them and put away my gifts of some of my children behind the veil. Yes I am deeply related with Archangels and Angels, they are my family and I love them. I know. But yesterday I was near hating them. It was a very bad day for me. A dark day of my soul. I was a bad one yesterday.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you from deep of my heart, all of you
Yes, this is Ho’oponopono, a hawaiian healing technique. Hawai’i is part of my beloved Lemuria. I felt always drawn to it and to the polynesian islands too. My subconsciousness knew about my bonds to Lemuria. I love the hawaiian language, it is like music in my ears. SaLuSa told me that most of the inhabitants of Lemuria originate from Sirius.
Last night when I talked with my friend about all this she explained something to me about a healing that occurs within me. A healing she started with Reiki on me – she, her husband and Archangels gave me this night.
I feel better today and I have to work now on it. With baby steps I have to work on my way back home. To wake up.
Her husband gave me the good advice this morning to start a journal. I go a bit further and make it public and hope that people can take some help out of it. That they can learn out of my own process and experiences as our consciousnesses are connected.
It will be much work for me to do, relearning to trust my team and also in this, first baby steps. And talking again with them including my Higher Self.
I have to find my love again in my heart. For me and my family and team. I know it is there and there is also HOME.
Getting my balance back.
I am not afraid now to see my lightbody shining through my skin, sometimes I can see it now.
I am able to see myself – as far as possible at the moment – as who, what and how I truly am. My consciousness IS expanding and I know more than I knew last year.
And I know that I would never abuse my power and abilities anymore. I love people and Gaia too much for this and it will never happen again. I only want to be back home and then stay there forever, with my hubby and family. My body and my mind are so tired and exhausted and as I was told that I fulfilled my last mission on earth it is time for me now. At home the next mission for ascension of earth and humanity is waiting for me.
But first my work on myself and my healing has to be done. And if you want you can observe me in reading my journal entries. They may be short and maybe not daily but I will share my experiences and insights with you as they appear. You are welcome to participate in my journey and if only as a reader.
As being EnnKa of Sirius my beloved SaLuSa is waiting for me and in being my true SELF my true Twin Flame and my family in AEON are waiting too. I am coming home my beloveds and I ask for your assistance and help.
I AM the I AM
Copyright © Isabel Henn. It is allowed to share this message in its complete form without changes and when the author’s name and the link to the original site is given. https://thesilverplatinumflame.wordpress.com/