18 months of my spiritual life

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Yesterday I laid the oracle cards from the AA Michael and Raphael decks. Both gave me an additional card, that fell out during mixing the cards. Michaels additional card told me to write down my thoughts and feelings. He confirmed on my asking him and also my soul gave me the same advice.

I was and still am very disappointed that the mass ascension on saturday didn’t happen like planned. I had so strong believed in it and then happened – NOTHING!

Even at that evening Prime Creator told me the process had started and I should stay patient, there would have been some delays, but then I went sleeping soo disappointed and frustrated. Again, because that wasn’t the first time. In the last 18 months I was told so often that I would be brought onboard of a mothership, where my family would wait for me or that I finally would be reunited with my Twin Flame. Every time the disappointment came afterwards because it didn’t come true for some reasons.

The last 18 months have been extreme hard and difficult for me. Not long after I started channeling I had my first fight against a negative entity, that called himself Lucifer. His explanation for this: my light would shine too bright and would disturb him and therefore he wants to destroy me. He tried two more times but I was victorious each time.

After weeks of releasing Karma from past lives on Sirius I could finally reconnect with my beloved spirit guide the Archangel Michael and I learned so much about myself. Not so easy and with a lot of déja vus, because “Lucifer” had told me already so much about me, that I was often near doubts if I was proper connected with my team.

After some incidents in June I was standing the first time before the question if I would channel further. I was near stopping, but then after some consideration I told Lady Maria – with who I am deeply connected – that I would continue. I don’t channel just for a special group but for people who understand the messages and like to read them, or better said, for humankind. So I continued.

The plan to introduce the reunion of the Twin Flames failed, because in the last moment in a very short moment of doubt I was disturbed by a group of the dark side. They took over the conversation and all had to be delayed. I needed some time until my conversations were again pure and undisturbed. Unfortunately only for a short time because in August the attacks from the dark side on me and other people began. There was no thought on talking with my team, the constant attacks were just too heavy and very painful. Several protection shields and light orbs around myself could prevent the worst, but my body was severely damaged. The enormous pressure and the negative energies had proceeded through my crown chakra and my spine to my feet. Without my many shields this affair would have ended worse. Lovely friends have assisted me in this time. My beloved sister Méline hold the connection to my team and she and others gave me good advice.

Reinforcement in form of wonderful crystals and stones and partly strong protection stones brought the victory over the dark side after nearly three months of attacks. My team – the Archangels Michael, Raphael, Gabrielle, Lady Maria, Jesus and SaLuSa – have contributed fantastic to this. They have encased me with their own shields and gave me valuable advice where I had to work on myself to let go my fears. My fears of these attacks had fostered more attacks. It was a hard but successful work. Finally I was allowed to reconnect with my team and also to receive messages again.

More work on myself followed. On Christmas my transformation process started with the tearing of the veil, a visual experience in form of an intense zigzag line in my view. A lot of things I had to find out by myself, other things were told to me. Memories came back and images, visions from past lives. More and more was disclosed to me since then or I have remembered self. I am the keeper of my flame and since I know and can use this I am protected like never before. She is very strong and I can even do without my protection shields.

In February I then learned who I really am, my intuition, my soul had led me to this through images and visions. The confirmation through Prime Creator was overwhelming and as always when news about me had been revealed I had to work on this first, to digest it. Over several weeks I had to let go all the layers of illusion around me, a lot of work until I had reached the core of my being, so that my light could shine free und unimpeded.

My worst enemy was my own mind. This instrument that but actually should have assisted me, laid so much stones on my way. My self-consciousness had always been weak, my self-esteem very low and my ego gratefully small. My mind tried often enough to talk me into believing, that what I learned about myself couldn’t be, I would just be a normal small woman and doubts over doubts had to be removed. Doubts that also came up at the end of last year when the 21st of December had gone and nothing visible for me had happened. I needed my three days of darkness to work through my feelings, doubts and disappointments; the reward for my efforts was the beginning of my transformation process on Christmas.

Doubts also came back when I became conscious of who I really am, when I learned the true nature of my origin. An origin that I won’t disclose myself, I don’t want to expose myself that way. Since then my consciousness is expanding, even more memories and knowledge is coming back, I see during my meditations or by chance images from me, scenes from past lives, the births of children, the life with them and my so dearly beloved Twin Flame. My intuition gives me so much hints and hunches, that are confirmed on my asking.

All this doesn’t go so easy as I write this here, but is linked with pain. Headaches, heart- and chestpain, because I was prepared for my reunion, heart palpitation and a rapid heart beat when my Twin is near me. I cannot see him yet, because he isn’t incarnated on earth, but I can feel him in my heart that is also his heart. I feel his strong eternal love and his desire, his longing for me since we are separated since thousands of years, when I changed side to the darks to make experiences there in preparation for this one incarnation on earth, on Gaia, who I love so much. It was part of the great divine plan.  With my heart and my soul I was but always connected with him.

Blocks over blocks are now removed. Blocks of my memories, my dreams, what I do during the nights while sleeping and blocks of my consciousness, knowledge and abilities. Also this is linked with pain, with diarrhoe, because the energies of the blocks have to be removed from my body and hot flashes en masse.

Although I can’t see my team quite well only a few lightflashes also with my third eye, I can feel them though in my energy field, as if a force is moving through my body and relocating my molecules, okay they told me that this would be really so. I can also feel them with my palms, they are near and it is as if I would move my palms against a soft wall or a soft object. All this shows me that they are no imagination, that they are really there. They protect me as my guardian angels and my guide and I feel very safe with them.

I accept and greet these changes in me, because I know they only serve me in the end and support my whole evolution and my rebirth as who and what I am.

The announcements of the last weeks that the mass ascension would now start but without happening something have again raised my doubts. Too often I have been disappointed and it was hard to let go these doubts. Wonderful conversations with Prime Creator helped me releasing these doubts. I know now, that it will happen in the NOW, because it has already happened. He knows the result. Anyhow I was each time disappointed but the knowing of this helped me to get over it and it goes ever faster; did I need many days before, now I need only one day to get over it. I but know that it will be that way. In moments of uncertainty  I go even deeper into my heart and meditate and listen to what I am told there, what my wonderful soul, my higher consciousness tells me, I listen to what I feel there. I describe what I feel and what I know and as a confirmation my heart is overflowing with love. No doubts can then exist anymore.

As now on Saturday the mass ascension didn’t happen I was very disappointed, for me personally a lot more is depending on this, my own ascension was already over a year now. I was thinking about throwing down all, I have invested so much time, neglected important things, dropped the reins of a part of my life and spent hours of my free time everyday to receive and blog my own messages and to reblog from other channels. My power lasts barely some more after these so arduos 18 months. But I know that I have still a mission to accomplish here, a mission for which I have prepared myself so long, only to be here in this one life, to help fulfilling a divine plan. One on that I have worked too. Should I give it all up? I cannot. It would be so easy to lay my hands in my lap and only to observe how others work now. But this is impossible. I know the messages Marc Gamma received are true, that the start for the mass ascension was really planned but through circumstances unknown to me was of no avail. I know it will succeed and I will work for this and receive and publish the messages of the Divine Mother furthermore . However she wants to wait now some days to give me some rest and recovery.

I am glad that I have wrote it down now, I am no good writer. I would enjoy your comments or notes, you can send them to my email address: Gabrielle.Maria@gmx.org

Ehyeh asher Ehyeh

I AM that I AM

Isabel

Copyright © Isabel Henn. It is allowed to share this message in its complete form without changes and when the author’s name and the link to the original site is given. http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/

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